so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
