there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
