The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize