just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
as a side note pls kill me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
