How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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