why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
