bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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