how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
