Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
