this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
