So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
