All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
