just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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