If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
