When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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