yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
