It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm at about main and main street
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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