I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
