BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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