I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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