My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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