did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
3 2 1 whiskey
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize