I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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