Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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