is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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