i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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