Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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