Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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