i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
