omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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