Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
