somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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