Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
