I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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