She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
