Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
