man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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