Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize