you traded sex for a burrito?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
