Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
