If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Two words: blizzard sex
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
