Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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