home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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