She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
