Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
