i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
