i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
