There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
