It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
