Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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