so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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