Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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(703): View more from Virginia

fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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(720): View more from Colorado

I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse

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