Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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