K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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