My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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