Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
