I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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