these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
